Why Becoming a High Vibration Person is Massively Uncomfortable
An avoidance of discomfort is often what keeps our vibrational frequency weak. How to embrace the right kinds of discomfort to raise your vibration.
*For your listening pleasure there is also an audio version of this article read by the author. It may include a few sidebars ;)
Embracing the Awkward
There’s helpful discomfort and there’s unhelpful discomfort. I’ve been terrible at distinguishing between the two in my life. I let people order me around to keep the peace; I allowed one-way dynamics in relationships because I wanted connection. Basically, I found “good reasons” to hand over my power to others. Then I woke up and realized what I was doing… and wanted it back. Enter staring down the barrel of discomfort. I was going to have to break all these patterns to get my power back. Say no, speak up, value authenticity over harmony, revise beliefs about my own worth. Damn it. This looked hard.
We only have so much bandwidth for discomfort. Too often I suspect humans eat up their bandwidth the way I have- by silently accepting patterns that don’t work. I’ve allowed myself to be spoken over in meetings because it was easier to feel that discomfort than cause a bit of a stir by saying, “If you’ll hold on a moment Ryan, I was just about finished.” I accepted the bad discomfort. The silent resentment building discomfort of allowing myself to be cut off mid-sentence. Coupled with the above, accepting this kind of discomfort is exactly the kind of thing keeping me from becoming a high vibration person.
It takes a lot of courage to embrace the awkward growth oriented form of discomfort. Much less, have the luxury of going slow enough in life to reflect on if discomfort we’re experiencing is a path to enhancing our vibrational frequency, or storing resentment. Sadly, the kind of suppressed resentment I was allowing to build up was a greased slide to a low vibration life. These are the kind of low vibration emotional experiences that meld with physical weakness to form disease. It’s worth it to turn around and embrace the awkward that is climbing back up the greasy slide I came down.
High Vibration Discomfort Doesn’t Last- Low Vibration Discomfort Does
There’s the awkward that will fix the problem, and the awkward that will perpetuate the problem. When we choose the pathway to becoming a high vibration person we’re choosing to embrace the discomfort that loses fizz over time. The first time we say no to someone when we’re used to being a pleaser it may feel like a champagne bottle popping on New Year’s Eve. Yet over time, the heart pounding feeling that accompanies pulling an about-face and shoving back on our programming starts to lose its froth.
My hands still quiver slightly when I say no. My body is still not used to it. The part of me that wants to stay in the bland safe space that consistently makes other people happy is freaking out. However, I know from doing this in other areas of my life that the feeling transitions from fizzy… to a bottle of flat champagne. Eventually the effervescence is gone, and giving a candid no will feel as normal as asking to pass the salt. Going through this uncomfortable transition process is what it feels like to level up our vibrational frequency.
“I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do.” ~Alanis Morissette
Becoming a high vibration person means consistently enhancing our vibrational frequency bandwidth with small changes over time. The low vibration path is fearing the healthy discomfort, and instead allowing ourselves to be boxed in by our programming. Low vibration is accepting persistent low-grade patterns of discomfort in our lives because they feel better than the rowdy discomfort of actually changing things. Stuck doesn’t go away or get better. Stuck = low vibrational frequency. Learn to be comfortable making a little bit of a scene; develop emotional muscles that can say no to these old “easy” ways of accepting less.
Anna Wintour & Walt Disney Were Fired
Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he, “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” After Elvis performed at the Grand Ole Opry he was told to go back to his old job of driving trucks. Lady Gaga was dropped from her first major record label after three months. Marilyn Monroe was told by modeling agencies she should consider becoming a secretary. Anna Wintour was fired from Harper’s Bazaar for being “too edgy.” Less than a dozen of Emily Dickinson’s 1800 poems were published during her lifetime. USC Film School rejected Steven Spielberg three times.
For some reason our society seems to underestimate the struggles people who get to high level positions in society go through. We tend to focus on the glamorous results. Becoming a high vibration person often means finding value in our own abilities, even when they don’t seem to hold value in anyone else’s eyes. That’s hard. Building the kind of fortitude to handle long periods of obscurity, low to no pay, and/or criticism from colleagues or the public is a rough process of personal alchemy. Yet that fortitude may sometimes be necessary to pave the way for a truly spectacular high vibration life. Michael Jordan (who was cut from his high school basketball team) is quoted as saying, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Getting Comfortable Looking Bizarre
Becoming a high vibration person is often about following your own inner drummer. Sometimes inner drummers flow with society, and sometimes they don’t. I have some friends I would consider incredibly high vibration whose pathways have been in lock step with how society is set up. I envy them. I have a random little drummer, and I often find myself eyeball rolling my own inspired ideas with a thought of, “Oh no, here we go again…”
There’s trolls on social media, and those moments when you tell trusted friends your glorious plans… only to see their faces reflect skepticism at best. It’s just accepting that no matter where we are on our path there’s going to be people around us in different places. There will always be the 20% who see brilliance and the 20% who see crazy. Just remember the rest don’t even care. Sometimes I wonder if the people telling us we’re crazy along the way are just tests to see how much we believe in ourselves. When we trade our inner drummer for conformity we’ve lost.
Letting Our Cookie Crumble
Another reason becoming a high vibration person is massively uncomfortable is because everything we previously built in our lives from a lower vibration place has to crumble. We can’t drag all our creations around forever like a child with a well-worn comfort blanket. Keeping things in our lives that no longer resonate will influence how soon we experience life matching our new vibration. We’re constantly taking on the vibrations of people and the environment around us. The same goes for jobs, where we live, the activities we do. All the biggies. What we allow to influence us matters.
If we’ve built part of our identity around going to the gym based on a low self image instead of health, when we raise our vibration and love ourselves we likely won’t go as often. This may mean we lose out on activities or people we used to socialize with there. Yet, experiencing this loss is actually the feeling of becoming a higher vibration person. It just sucks. No one likes to watch their life crumble without seeing the bridge to a new life. However, this trust is exactly what’s needed if we’re on a quest to amplify our vibrational frequency.
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then do it.” ~Ann Landers
Hanging Out in the Fog of the Unknown
This gets in to being comfortable hanging out in the unknown. In the space between the old version of ourselves and the new version of ourselves. It’s an incredibly high vibration space; think of it like a charging portal before you enter your new life. The longer we can press against the discomfort and continue hanging out here the more juice we get.
If we’re cultivating a high vibration we have to accept that hanging out in this uncomfortable realm is repeatedly necessary. There are no guarantees here. There’s no one rubbing your back. It’s just plain uncomfortable. This is where we practice faith. This is where we have space to rework our belief systems and be sure they resonate with the life we want to appear out of the fog. This is where we meditate and learn to find comfort in ourselves. This is where we stop reaching for vices and choose sustainable ways of meeting our needs. We become clear on what we want and refuse to accept less. We strengthen our inner world, and from the alchemy of these practices our new life is formed- reflecting our new inner world.
It’s so hard to wait in the gap between what you let go of in your old life, and trusting in what’s being created to fill the void (especially without giving in to urges to go back). It’s emotional, it’s messy, it’s transformational. Whether the road through this fog is well traveled for you, or a doorway to a world you’re eying suspiciously, it’s a journey I wish you well on.
If you want to go deeper on this topic I’m setting aside a few hours a week to work with a handful of people interested in raising their vibration. Check out my new consulting page if you’re interested! If you’d like to keep exploring on your own you may enjoy 10 Signs of a High Vibration Person.
Want to hang out as you travel that foggy road?